When it finally broke me was when I found out he went home with a stranger and had unprotected sex with her and decided to tell me all of the details of the sordid encounter in front of one of my daughters. That was when I knew he hit an all time low and enough was enough. On top of that the lies was relentless and the blame. After my mum died of cancer he was looking at porn. Now this is a man who was loyal and loving. I lost him to that drug. He changed, cocaine changes their character completely. What’s heartbreaking is that we was not his rock bottom so prepare yourself for that reality. He lied to my face initially but call it women’s instinct I just new. Betrayal comes hand in hand with that drug but I suppose you have to face up to whether you want to excuse the behavior or if you’re worth more than that bs. And you definitely are worth more. It would have gotten alot worse and it will.
It’s awful the longer you stay, in fact it’s just devastating whatever way round you look at it.
One thing I will say is that if you stay keep yourself safe and keep talking to others. Do not hide behind THEIR shame. Because it’s their shame and not yours. Despite what you feel do not isolate yourself.