Well don’t go to far down the rabbit hole. When all came on top for me I was on the floor! I had people supporting me when I took the brave steps to remove him from my life, and after those many years it wasnt easy facing life separately. Still isn’t to be fair but the alternative is so much worse.
Keep reading the threads here, keep researching and keep talking.
Always focus on you and let him get on with it. If you’re going to stay then don’t look for his stuff, detach from threats and any arguments, literally let him get on with it. Wants to waste his life then let him but don’t waste your energy on it.
You’d be surprised if you stop responding he will wonder why and it might just stop him in his tracks, and keep you sane.
Always here.