Hi there, sorry for what you are going through. I’ve got a wife and 3 kids and am an addict but not to Cocaine. Cocaine is tough as it’s so incredibly expensive, I’ve tried it in the past but honestly felt barely nothing everytime. Your man must be like so many others that are hard wired to enjoy it. I’ve seen friends really obsess over coke and i imagine that must be so difficult for you as you must be seeing really polarised mood swings? Its a massive vicious circle for your fella as although drug dependency looks heavily self indulgent on the surface he is likely beating the shit out of himself for how his head feels regarding you and your kids. I can relate, nothing and I mean NOTHING seems in any way enjoyable or even possible when you aren’t high, your routes to get high are often exhausting, fraught with tension and you feel so angry at yourself at feeling like there is no other option… “I want to make my children happy but I can’t contemplate that kids movie or computer game as at this moment. I want to beat the shit out of myself with guilt… Need gear to show love etc”….
Best advice I can think of is take yourself and your kids out for a day with family or friends and leave a letter saying that you know what’s happening but you love him with ALL your heart and you are his rock, you and him will beat it, you will help him taper, go to the doctors, and cuddle when he needs it, whatever it takes for all of you lovely people. Things will ALWAYS be worse as long as he considers YOU an outsider, you wouldn’t abandon him if he had a disease and you sure won’t abandom him with this, he needs to know that. All that is my assuming you love him and he’s not violent towards you and the wee ones?
Hey look, I don’t know you at all but just getting yourself on here and confronting it is a big step and you should see it as such. Getting stuff of your chest is helpful sometimes and that’s why I have registered as I can’t live the way I’ve been living for 4 years now.
Keep talking and if I see your messages and others see them you will have a sounding board OK. God bless you, your man and the little ones.