[l54321]

Been up most of the night giving him controlled alcohol to try and control the withdrawal pains, jerking and vomiting. Three quarters of a litre of vodka and it’s not helped him at all. He’s been hallucinating vision & sound all night. Called 111 at 1am they wanted to send an ambulance but he refused the offer. This morning it was too much for him, the alcohol doesn’t get rid of any of the withdrawals symptoms & I called 111 again, they didn’t give the option & sent an ambulance. Feeling scared for him, guilty for the use of NHS guilty and thankful for my children who seem to take it in their stride. I feel like a terrible mother that they have had to witness this.