Reply To: Dispair & hatred for alcoholic partner

#16703
l54321
Participant

It was probably writing everything down in this forum that made something inside me flip from anger to reasonable. It was like my anger totally subsided yesterday afternoon. We had a conversation in the evening and he told me how relieved he was that I seemed calm and supportive. I know anger is unhelpful and actually destructive but I couldn’t help my anger. Rereading my post today made me cry to realise how I was feeling only yesterday and days before that. I feel love and concern for him again. It was horrible last night not knowing when it’s appropriate to call an ambulance in these situations and I might be letting him die because I don’t know what I’m doing. Him pointing out spiders on the wall that don’t exist, people that he can see or asking if I can hear that noise.

The hospital have given him meds to stop withdrawal symptoms, he sounds exhausted, but like he’s there again and the drink is gone. He’s had an X-ray on his stomach and they told him there is an issue but they haven’t told him what yet. Hopefully something that will not be permanent, but I can’t stop myself feeling like he deserves it after the way he’s just tortured his body and mind. I can’t imagine putting mine through that & expecting to come out unscathed time and time again.

I cannot imagine being seven years into repeating the same cycle, yet every time he comes back from it he is still the man I fell in love with, that dotes on me and the children. I just don’t know what the answer is my hope is up and down at the moment. This was one of his more significant episodes. My heart goes out to you, I feel like I’m grieving each time this happens and can only imagine you feel the same. I hate the children being exposed to this. So many conflicting thoughts to process and the lies are so damaging, it’s a roller coaster of rebuilding your relationship and life, for them to kick the crap out of it whenever it’s fitting for them. I know its not that simple but that is the effect it has.

Thank you so much for your comments, I feel talking here has really helped me to unburden my feelings and gain a little clarity. Love and best wishes.

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