Thank you for taking the time to message.
I know for a fact he loves you and that he is now influenced by the past and what has happened that has caused him to do this. You do deserve better but please know that he never intended on hurting you. It takes control and alters the mind and turns people into someone they are not but gradually so it’s very difficult for the person using to realise.
I lost my way and I honestly dont think I would have corrected myself by staying in the same situation. If any good has come from this, it’s that i am now sober and have no intention whatsoever on going back to the thing that ruined my life.
Yes we must concentrate on the present and the future because we can not change the past. It’s easier said than done though!
I have a very respectable job and am a decent person who unfortunately, cares a great deal about what others think of me which i hope in time changes some current perceptions of me.
My ex is happy i believe and has moved on. You will do the same for sure. Concentrate on yourself and other things will fall into place.
Take care