Hi Everyone, I first came to this Forum completely destroyed as a family when our beautiful baby boy started using cocaine in 2017 aged 18. We paid thousands out to his debt and got nowhere, paid for counselling and even paid him for a clean urine tests, bought an old car on a promise he would give up but nothing stopped it. After writing my thoughts here at my lowest point as we sat in the dark one night because drug dealers were coming to the door for money after he’d been sacked from a fabulous job, I felt so ashamed I wished him dead and even thought of taking my own life due to the burning shame I felt. I just want you to know that he has been clean since August 2019, he is still slowly paying off debts to us and friends (he owed £1000’s), but he is now working full time and although I still worry sick every time he is late or he drinks too much he is CLEAN. I am so grateful for all the support on here and from our other children (we never told anyone else) . I’m sure your day will come too. He said he stopped because it wasn’t fun anymore and he was sick of his sh*t life. His MH has been terrible. I pray he continues to remain well and I hope that your children too are able to recover. It’s our hearts, self-worth and mental health that will take a bit longer. I miss my old carefree life so much, but we are happy to take this new normal and be grateful for what we have. The best thing we ever did was to stop helping xx
