I hear you, although I wouldnt feel stupid – why so? How are you supposed to know how to manage this situation or play detective on people’s behaviours? We don’t get into relationships to accept this kind of crap!
All of the other behaviours, like laziness, poor attitudes, criticism, put downs, blame and the list goes on is all down to their inability to deal with their own problems! So we end up doing it for them!
Also, the “boredom thing” is just crap – that’s just an individuals inability to sit comfortably with themselves and be at peace! As in being comfortable in their own skin. Too many unresolved issues going on there, along with them running/escaping from themselves and the world around them. It’s simply cowardness as we all have crap to deal with but others prefer to self medicate. Then we form habits and poor coping strategies and addiction just gets harder!
Sounds like he needs to deal with some underlying issues and explore the driving forces behind his addiction! If he point blank refuses then he isnt ready and sadly like any addiction he has to want to help himself, otherwise it’s pointless.