Thankyou for your reply – it has really helped . Today I have ‘ swung’ between making myself be ‘ strong and resilient’ and then sobbing my heart out as I have spent the past 15 years caring for and loving my husband, no matter what he has done, I have never ‘ judged’ but have always promised him ‘ if you have a problem, we will deal with it together’ . He has no friends or family left and no one else to turn to. I hate the thought of him feeling I’ve rejected and abandoned him and made him homeless – it’s not what I would ever want or choose to do. I just wish so much that drugs had never entered our lives , changed my husband’s behaviour and his priorities beyond recognition from Those of the man I fell in love with, destroys trust and ruined our marriage .
I know I have to ‘ get real’ but I just want my husband and our marriage back to how they were in the happy years before this nightmare began. I just sob and sob when I think of how I dreamt of how it would be – dreams for the future/ our retirement etc etc and how this is never going to happen now.
Thankyou x