You sound supportive, however there is nothing we can do unless they want the help and I’m sure you know that already.
£600 is enough to fry his brain which explains an awful lot about him being unable to care for anything.
When you said about him being sort of normal four times in three years that really resonated with my story, and it’s really bloody sad! Because simply put that’s the reality of what that devil drug does to a person. It literally transforms people, like you say “intelligent” and now they are left as a shell – they probably look inward at themselves and sit in a state of confusion. But saying that they still go and “pick up”.
Is he going to any CA meetings? They are all active and online as are all the local services.
Definitely focus on yourself and move on. You could be waiting forever and no amount of ultimatums, demands or love can change that. I wish it was that simple.
He has to hit his rock bottom and then the basement and then some before he decides to change.
All this about being a “life girl” sounds a bit like manipulation to me but then again what do I know.
As much as you love him, you have to realise that HIM is gone, the cocaine him is very much active and he won’t be able to be what you want and I think he has said that. I’d believe him and try to get some support for yourself.