Hi Abb,
Sorry to read your story. I’m sure you you’re going through this. Unfortunately addicts lie, it’s what they do, they lie because think they can hide it. I’ve been with my now husband for 15 years and it’s been a rollercoaster, I’m not the person I was.
My advice to you would be issue the ultimatum and put the ball in his court. An addict can’t really pick it up and put it down, so it’s not really a good idea to suggest he can still do it socially, because if he’s addict it would be like telling an alcoholic to have a wine now and then. It’s impossible, abstinence is the only way in all honesty. My husband thinks he can pick it up and put it down again, but when he starts again, the devil on his shoulder starts up again and it starts slow and then ramps up.
I love my husband and when he’s clean he is the nicest person, but on coke he lies, is absent, And is void of all responsibilities and thought of anything other than ‘it’.
You’re not alone, and you love him xx