Come on. I think thats definitely the unresolved parts of you saying all this right now. Don’t ever regret having a voice and communicating yourself in the way you feel you need too.
Simply put you can’t communicate effectively with an active user anyway so whatever you said probably had no bearings on his current behaviours or decisions.
You’ve made him important and that’s ok, but the danger is have you made him more important than yourself?
And what’s so wrong in being selfish? We need our needs met also and people on the other end of addicts always get the raw deal so nah you ain’t being selfish, you’re just trying to state what it is you want/need from a healthy point of view.
You really don’t want to delve into the minds of an addict, take that from me.
Try separate him into two people – the addict and then him. At some point you will realize the addict is more present than the person you once knew. That way you can hopefully find some coping strategies to manage “the behaviours”.
Always remembered what that drug does, it changes people completely – don’t go with him.