Well I’ve actually messaged him off a friends phone and he’s seen it so I kind of feel a bit more at peace now as everything I wanted to put is on it .. mighty long message but at least I’ve got my thoughts out there.
I obviously don’t know what state of mind he’s in right now but regardless, I feel like I have a right to tell him how I feel I’ve put up with this for so long I kind of feel like my life has been on hold for the day he sorts himself out and deluded that it will work so I’ll wait and your right its the rejection and the upset I think because I’ve been doing this in my mind for 2 years, now it’s offical and he’s said hes done it kind of makes me think I’ve lost my future to look forward to but actually I’ve not lost much just the reality of how it could have been. I am the one thats living a normal life.
You sound like your well over it and I hope I can get to where you are rather than this mindset!