I have seen a little of this with the lying, lazyness and personality changes and now when I look over the past few months I realise more and more. I have just read your post and can see how awful it has been for you and your family and how hard you have tried for so long. I don’t want to get to that stage although I know that he has never given up smoking weed no matter how many times I asked and now the cocaine addition as much as he hasn’t used it everyday has been a slippery slope to a man that I never thought would lie to me and behave the way he has and now I’m just not sure. I was once in a emotionally abusive relationship with my previous marriage for 10 years and when I finally had the strength and said the words that I wanted a divorce I never looked back. I stayed for my children for too long.
I’m our house at the moment I have a vulnerable teenager who tried to take her life last year and doesn’t want to have anything to do with her dad, my husband now is her father figure but they don’t hit it off and now I realise that his personality has changed where he finds her irritating and doesn’t do anything with her was because he has been struggling with either dope overs or not being high from coke. Last night I told him that I can offer support but he has to do this, it has to come from him. And if not then the embarrassment and shame that he feels now will be nothing compared with when everyone else finds out such as his kids and mine etc. I am resolved in the fact that I might have to make that decision as there is a good chance that this will crop its ugly, destroying head again. I hope this forum helps you a tiny bit as your life sounds unbelievably difficult.