Hi bbb,
I resonated with your story, not the money as my husband always had enough of his own money, but the lies, the deciet, the accusations because they’re paranoid.
One thing, you are your own person, you are not his carer, you are not responsible for his actions. It sounds like you have given him plenty of chances. You deserve a life and to be happy, get out while you can. If you had children with him you will be even less able to leave, you will feel like if he spirals it’s your fault, you dont want to leave your kids without a father. Realistically this is not your problem to deal with.
My friends dont understand and they’re bored of hearing it over and over again, and to be honest I don’t blame them, I never took advice because I thought they didn’t get it, but they did, I didnt.
Unless he wants to change he wont for you, or for anyone else. Not even a child (as I know)
There is a book by Amanda Andruzzi called Hope Street, she is in our boat. I read it when my husband was using Coke, and its all about being co-dependent. Please get it and read it, it will help you realise you arent alone.
Sending love