Hi Ash,
I’m so sorry to hear you have had to feel even the slightest bit the same as me.
The ‘you are not his carer’ – is something I really needed to hear. I feel I have taken on the role of care taker and looking after him like a child!
Thankfully no children together, I cannot imagine if there had been.
Last year I lost a baby. And it almost killed me.
What did he do? Left me, alone. To deal with that whilst he didn’t come home for two days and just took cocaine.
I think that moment is when I snapped. I can and will never forgive being left alone in that grief.
But I can’t help thinking it was for a reason, because a child with him would be a lifetime connection to a world of cocaine.
I’ve finally realised I can’t save him. And my life is worth more than what I am allowing myself.
I just want to see that glimmer of light at the end of tunnel. To be left alone and respected in my decision.
I am looking for the book as we speak.
Coming on here has made me realise how many people have suffered as a loved one of an addict. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Thank you for your kind reply.
Lots of love x