My husband has made me feel like this too. He often acts in rows like I am the crazy one. He likes to shout that out loud. He also likes to tell me that it’s me that is bullying him or even that our 7 year old is bullying him. He tells his family that I am to blame and that our son is never disciplined and that’s why he is always so angry at us and short tempered.
He also likes to twist the events of our past and blame me for everything that has gone wrong. He knows all the buttons to push and he loves to start arguments so that he can say ‘that’s it I’m going out I cant deal with you anymore’.
What I have come to realise is that over the last few years I have tried and tried to keep a family together thinking if only I could change it would be better. He kept telling me that so why not? But nothing was ever good enough. Days out were ruined. Holidays were miserable. Christmas was awful. And all the time it was our fault.
I know how you feel being angry. There are so many times when I have just wanted to scream at him, to get my point to him. But it’s so pointless. Everytime I have ever tried to talk to him I regret it because it normally ends with him being soooooo angry and recently that anger has got more and more aggressive so I know that’s it. I have to move on. It’s not for me as much as for my son. I dont want my son growing up thinking his anger is normal.
Like you I wish he would get himself better and be a dad again (before all this he was really a great guy, loving caring, helpful thoughtful and I miss him). But for now there is no point considering what the future might bring because I know in general that having expectations of him is pointless. I do feel by letting him go I won’t be able to help him and I feel guilty about that.
But it is better for me and my son and that’s what I am trying to focus on. You have done the right thing to cut ties and move on. I hope that you start to feel better and that things settle down. None of this is your fault and you have to think of yourself and your children now and that’s all you can do x