Hi,
I’m sorry you are going through this too, so much of what you say resonates with me and will with others on this forum.
Can you give us a timeline of his alleged stop point etc. My husband has been clean for 5 months, but I have plenty of experience (unfortunately) of him not being so. I know the signs and I’m so tuned in to him, I can tell by his voice on the phone, or his tone in a text sometimes, the language he uses changes! If he’s in detox mode then there will be a good period of time when he’s lethargic, snappy etc.
The only way you can tell for sure is to test him. If he’s clean he shouldn’t have an issue with you doing this, if he’s not he’ll get angry, blame you for daring to ask like you dont trust him (tbf you have every right not to trust him).
There’s a vast difference between someone who uses occassionally and an addict, and once you are addicted you are a different person from the one who used every now and then for fun. He’s probably got to the point that he’s been using to maintain normal now.
You arent alone, look after you! You deserve a life too x