Kitten mitten i had to reach out and reply to your comment on the post because it sounds exactly like my situation.
My partner, who i have recently asked to move out has been doing cocaine for over 10 years. We have been together for 2. He was amazing, caring loving until I found out about it all. He was the best step dad to my kids. Now his comments he makes are disgusting the arguments just get worse, he’s emotionless. He turns everything round as if its me, and i have at times questioned if it is. When its not, its him! What has led to him finding somewhere to live is him being snappy with my 7 year old. He says i don’t discipline the children and that i smother them too much. He criticises me so much as a parent when he spends his days in bed and has 3 children of his own he doesnt see or provide for. I am so sad about losing the man i loved but he isnt there anymore. I related to alot you said in your post. My children do and always will come first, thats why iv made the decision. Wish you the best in your situation i know how hard it is.