The way my husband has been with our son is the main reason I am seeking separation. It is also of course what makes me most worried. Of course he can be a good dad and our son loves him. but our son also reacts to my husbands behaviour. I feel the tension in him when my husband is sleeping all day. He knows what’s next. He lives in the same cycle that we all do. I do the the best I can and try to give my son safety and security and as much love as I can. My husband has been blaming me and our son for so long though I think it has effected our sons behaviour. There can be quite a difference in him when we are at home alone or when my husband is home. I know it’s not my parenting and always did but it’s hard not to question yourself when someone blames you for everything going wrong. I feel so sorry for our son stuck in the middle of all this. Like you I have felt sad about losing our my husband to this and losing our family.
I wish my husband would just move out and leave us alone. Unfortunately I know I am going to have to fight my way out of this whole situation. Trouble is my husband is very intelligent. He can take cocaine and still work and he mostly has little other problems from his habit. He makes lots of money and we are financially secure as we own our own house. I on the other hand have only worked part time since we had our son and I work from home so I am kinda screwed – leaving for me means losing the house, my son changing schools and me starting from scratch again with my job as I know I will need to leave the area I live in. That’s why I have stayed and that’s why I am trapped right now. He knows it and uses it in a controlling way against me.
It helps chatting in here. Reading people’s stories and not feeling so alone in all this.