Maggie and A,
You are both young right? I’m mid 40’s, my husband is 50. Your stories sound just like mine 15 years ago.
If I could tell the old me what to do, it would be please leave and don’t have children together.
The nights I laid awake wishing he’d come home, wishing he’d come to bed and want to be next to me because he cared. The nights that didn’t happen and he’d roll in at 4am or the next day. My anxiety through the roof, but of course I was over reacting.
You will start to normalise things, like he got home 8 hours after I was expecting him, I was awake all night worrying. He comes home, is slightly apologetic but if you push it he’ll become angry because that’s the way to stop you bothering him.
Think about what you want from life. Don’t become a shell of your former self. If You leave, he gets clean and finds you again it was meant to be. If He doesn’t, you’ve had a lucky escape.
Keep talking to your friends, you need support going through this.
Sending love ????