I wish I could stay and help my husband get clean too. But I know it would be a further detriment to my own happiness.
The problem is that cocaine is linked to my husbands work and his best mate. That is why I dont see him being able to break the habit. I could imagine the only way would be to move and change our lives completely. That would take a lot of love from me. I like my life and my friends and my son loves his school. I am not sure I would be able to give up more of ourselves for him. But I also think it would be the only way for him to get clean and still have a family. So much of his recent behaviour I feel has been because I have given up on him. I think he feels hopeless and therefore it’s not helped.
Years ago I noticed him doing similar behaviour. I didnt know it was cocaine. Our relationship was strong and I didnt have a child to consider. I gave him an ultimatum. Stay in stop drinking. Stop seeing your friend that you keep staying out with and I will stay with you. He did all that and he obviously was able to stop taking cocaine then. Now when I said the same thing last year he said no. Now I know it is cocaine and it was cocaine before. But unfortunately I think too much damage has been done to turn back.
Maybe it’s because I am considering both mine and our sons happiness. Maybe that’s what is different and ultimately why I gave up on him.