You are not being dramatic. You have been let down and your children have been let down. You still fought for your children to have a relationship with their dad because you wanted their lives to feel normal. For them to feel loved.
Trouble is our partners seem unable to love anyone right now. Least if all themselves. How do you change that? No amount of excitement or life changes is going to work without them getting help and ditching the cocaine or other substances. We can try as hard as we like but in the end all we end up doing is hurting our own self esteem or self worth until they are ready to actually seek help.
I would be there if my husband turned around and said he wanted to go to the gp and get clean. I would be willing to help him. I think the door is never closed because of our child. But without that we end up going in circles.