Hi all,
Just seen these messages. I too found out December last year, and by accident. I found a wrap In his wallet. At first he said it was speed to help him perform better at work. I tested him and it was cocaine. He then said he was sorry, that he will change and that he only done it “occasionally”. Then he went out for a work party and never came home. My heart sank. Call it women’s intuition but I just knew as he has never stayed out before, in fact he loved his family home. He came home and said he fell a sleep at his friends after the work party and I sort of believed it but his story kept changing, so I tested him again and he was positive for cocaine.
Before I knew he cheated I got all the excuses and promises he would not cheat – he lied to my face, as well as how much he loved me etc.
Then when I challenged him he eventually admitted going home with some random women.
He was vile, he told me all the details in front of my daughter. The things he said was hurtful, then came the “I am not in love with you anymore, and been unhappy for years which was news to me. He changed completely.
Now, he doesn’t really bother me my kids, and the last time I saw him which was few weeks back he refused a drug test. I’m assuming he is bang on the drugs now. But we have become nothing to him, when once we was everything. Everyone is gobsmacked at the changes in him and would never have thought he could treat us all this way.
I’m six months on and I’m still so broken. I take one day at a time but honestly I’m so upset with all that’s happened and none of it makes sense. I suspect that’s because I’m dealing with the addict and not him.
The things he says now are confusing. He says “I wasn’t happy with anything he did” and blamed me still, but then says how hurt he is when I can’t look at him.
I’ve lost him to cocaine and it’s devastating us all.
Thanks for listening