sickworried,
Sorry, I haven’t been around much over the weekend. How are you doing?
In my experience, him telling his friends you have cheated, they probably don’t believe him. I know my husbands friends didnt, they paid him lip service, but they all knew it was in his head. However, they didnt help me.
You don’t have kids, please leave him. Your mental and physical health will suffer, I lost a tremendous amount of weight and I’m already slim, I was almost skeletal, because I couldn’t eat through worry.
I didn’t leave because of fear, by leaving I thought it would look like I was guilty, crazy huh. Don’t bother recording your downtime, he’s paranoid about what ‘didnt happen’ in the past, as opposed to what is happening now, and there is nothing you can do about that, trust me. You cannot make someone believe you, you wont have proof that something didn’t happen. The same way that he wont find proof that it did, yet he is happy to make you feel like this.
I am worrying about you, I know how I felt going through what you are. I’m mentally scarred from the years, I’m getting better, but I still second guess what he’ll think to a comment before speaking. I was in counselling myself before lockdown, because I know that I need to work on my ingrained fear. He is fine now, clean and content, but I still can’t change how I react because its deep rooted.
Sending love x