Really feel for you as your situation sounds as desperate as mine ☹️
Other people judge and don’t understand why we stay, I’m the same still in love with him. Since I wrote my post my situation has esculated and spiraled. Myself and grown up son confronted him about his drinking and behaviours. It’s back fired on me and a few weeks back he decided he no longer loves me and wants out of our relationship. I then found out he’s been involved with another woman at some level, he swears no more than friends but as he’s lied so much I no longer trust him. I’ve begged and pleaded but he’s made his mind up that he does have issues but he can’t tackle them with me in his life. Therefor he’s decided to leave me and family at end of month. Me and my kids have also got to move now as we can’t afford our current home without his income. I’ve ended up on antidepressants myself because of everything he’s put me through. We’re barely communicating right now and it’s really sad as I no longer have any idea who he is. I don’t believe he will change when he’s moved out ,he just doesn’t want to hear me telling him he has issues, because he knows this to be true but is too scared to deal with it. I really hope for your and kids sake that you have a better ending than me and mine xx