Hi Louise!
Yes it’s 100% sh*t problem is for me this guy was never my boyfriend as such :/ I met him a few years ago wasn’t a date just a drink and as I was already out I was pretty drunk anyway so missed the signs, the next time I met him he was ‘normal’ and I was sober .. First bar we went to we didn’t have to que and then most of the night he was popping off having close conversations with people so I asked him straight out if he was a dealer and he admitted it, that should have been my time to run away then.
That night it was like he had a nervous breakdown was up all night with him crying his eyes out hearing his life story and from then on we were like peas and carrots ffs .. He bounces in and out I see the worst sides of him – everyone else gets either the good personality or the bad personality .. he’s never been nasty to me though he classes me as family :/ meaning I’ll let him come back, i argue with him though and its like shouting at a child he knows what he’s doing, If only knew the good side and he was doing this right now I would be heartbroken but I kind of think well an grateful he’s not turned into this over night and has basically been unstable from the off.
But yes selfish and I think it’s a lot to do with object consistency in cases of coke addicts it’s all fun and games when your on it and all the people about you are so amazing you don’t think of anything but when it crashes down it’s like they need to crawl back.
Mine had a major breakdown over xmas constantly calling and texting and put away 6 litre bottles of vodka in a weekend I went over as he was living hotel to hotel and he said his parents wanted him to go to rehab as they think hes an alcholic – which he found funny and was obviously happy he had fooled them, but then was asking my opinion and said it was the only one that mattered and should he go or not .. at this point he was still saying he didn’t have a coke addiction as he was actually an alcoholic first, I always find that reverse psychology works a treat on him .. I said I didnt think he had a problem with drink (lied) but if he thought it would be a good idea so it looked like he was taking charge maybe go to AA but maybe just tell them he uses coke, then I said rehab might be a bit too much for him and 12 weeks was a long time .. next thing you know he’s in rehab as he likes a challenge .. not even funny! He was still saying 2 weeks ago he’s not a coke addict but as of last weekend he’s admitted it .. Just like a constant head f*ck. I would say let yours just suffer and don’t let him keep coming back but that would make me a hypocrite as I know how it is and I worry if I didn’t answer the phone he would end up dead and I can’t have it on my conscience!