Hey LT
I have been sober 12 years now, and attend AA meetings. I also recently had a bad experience with Opiates which really threw me, thankfully I’m a month clean from them.
I dont like to diagnose anyone with anything as I dont know them, what I can tell you is that everything you have described is very common in Alcholics.
From what you have written it sounds to me like you have been very patient and tolerant and done everything you can do to help him. The problem you face is that unless he recognises he has a problem this cycle will carry on and on. I know that personally when I was drinking I didn’t care about anyone or anything aside from alcohol. That’s a horrible thing to admit but it was true, and I ended up pushing everyone away, wearing them out and eventually they got tired of my antics. It was only when I hit Rick bottom and realised what I had become that I could begin to sort myself out.
I appreciate this isn’t an easy thing to read or here, but it sounds like you half recognise this from what you have written anyway.
For you as a partner of someone with these issues there are groups set up where you can get help and support and you will likely find others in the same boat who can help and support you as you most definitely aren’t alone with this.
I hope you can post back
Again the above is my experience only and I’m in no way trying to tell you what to do