Hi
My story is very similar to yours
We were together for 15 years until very recently
He always liked a drink and would use cocaine on nights out with his friends, when our children were younger he just wouldn’t come home from work on a Friday and sometimes I wouldn’t see him again until the Sunday.
Or if he did come home he would start drinking then start an argument over something stupid and leave.
It got better for awhile but the drinking got more and more and then he started to bring cocaine into the house and just sit alone all night while the rest of the house was asleep and then sleep all the next day.
He’s made a lot of promises to stop but as soon as he starts drinking and the wkends here it starts all over again, he drink drives to go pick it up and it started to really affect our finances.
He’s also a very big gambler.
I love him and he’s a lovely man, very hard working and lovely to me while sober.
Finally I’ve had enough, I asked him to move out a few wks ago and since then he’s said again he knows he has a problem but he won’t ask for professional help and told me I take him as he is or not at all.
So I have chosen not at all
It hurts a lot, I miss him and I hate that these substances even exist, without them I could be with this man for the rest of my life.
I’m now wondering if I stuck in there would it change, have I done the right thing but I’ve been waiting for it to change for a long time and he’s still not wanting to change his lifestyle.
It’s extremely difficult because to some people it might not look that bad but it’s a different story when you share your life with someone and you never know what’s going to happen next or if all the money in the joint account will disappear