Hey smarker
Firstly sorry to hear how that worked out. I can categorically say that isn’t your fault and you have done the right thing, even though it will feel a million miles from that.
I know when I was drinking or using, I’d do or say anything to be able to get on with it without being inconvenienced by family, friends – anyone. Lieing and manipulation were common so I didn’t get found out, and didn’t have to sort myself out and face my problems. Often I’d minimise my stuff and maximise someone else’s- it enabled me to evade responsibility and avoid facing up to the fact I was a wreck without a soul.
In my experience unless someone admits to their innermost self that they have an issue, there is very little other people can do – it will end up in an endless cycle.
I’m sorry you had to go through this, there seems to be alot of support on here for families of addicts and alcholics – maybe some support in that space would help