You’re not being stupid. You love the guy! Does he deserve that? NO! You deserve the love you keep giving him.
And listen trust me you don’t want the reverse. Broken families, marriages, kids, homes and hearts – nah you’re the lucky one! You’ve had a lucky escape, I’m sure others who LIVE with the hell will tell you so. It broke me and I consider myself to be strong!
And he keeps coming back because he can! Eventually you will leave x