This is crazy to see how the husbands leave us women in disbelief. My husband who I’ve always done everything for has left me and never contacted me to say why or anything. I had to pay $20000.00 which I was told he owed the dealers. I don’t know what to believe. I heard that his drug use is getting the better of him. I know now that he is living with another lady who seems to help fund his lifestyle. As he left everything he owns at home . So from clothing upwards someone had to buy him as he had no job for some months. He has told people he hasn’t moved on and was planning to for a while. But his drug use was getting worse and I kept warning him. He chose drugs over his wife who has been bailing him out for 14 yrs. his cocaine use apparently began 10yrs ago but was hidden from me until the last three years. I asked him one time when he will stop. He said he sees a lil more cocaine in his life. I can’t understand that thinking at all. I cant understand how he can’t see how using cocaine and alcohol and viagra generic kamagra is going to damage his health. His use became so bad that his sperm count was ridiculously low (so I couldn’t get pregnant)and well he can’t have sex without using kamagra/viagra as the cocaine seemingly affects the ability to keep or even get it up. At 46 yrs he has thrown everything he had in store for him away. But it’s as though he thinks he did good and I’m the wrong one. I’m left with all the bills and house and two car mortgages. It makes me feel as though I failed in life. But this will make me stronger because it has always been me balancing the bills. His money was always funny. He would always cheat and walk away and return after months. Begging for forgiveness. But I now have to live my life. He isn’t the person I met and loved. He is a lying cheating person. I’m glad he was never physically abusive to me. But he has been very abusive to girls he cheated with. I want to believe shame and disgrace has a lot to do with how he cannot even call or message and say something. Give me closure. But when On That drug path u have to hit ground level to see the mess you made. I ask god to help me forgive him but I’ll never forget. Let me spread my wings now and live my life without having to run after his every need. I do wish that he can get the help he needs and save himself before it’s too late. Some days I’m ok and other days I feel as though I fell into a hole and cannot climb out and the world is laughing at me. But that’s my mind playing tricks. I did everything I can to try to help him and help make him a success. But he chose drugs over me and our marriage. They always seem to run to a woman who would allow them to use the drugs freely where they feel they wouldn’t be judged.
Thanks to u all I realize I am not alone. This forum may help my mind stabilize and know that I was not wrong.