Oh my, I feel so sad reading your words. I know exactly how you are feeling, if only there was a way to detach. There isn’t an easy way out of this.
I wanted so many times to ‘get on with my life and let my cocaine addict husband do what he wants and not let it bother me’, but how can you sit back and let someone destroy themselves right. Fact is – you have to, for YOUR own sanity, you have to detach. You can be there for support if/when he stops, but just don’t put yourself through it.
Sending massive hugs, nobody deserves to go through what you are, you are stronger than you think, but dont let him take all your happiness away. Yes, you are his mother, but first and foremost, you are you. Please don’t let him define you. xx