Lemony, reading your story made me sad as I can relate so much to what you’ve described. It is sad, bloody tragic! I feel as though my dreams, future and happiness have all diminished!
Going through all of what you are with the divorce, house situation and your feelings is absolutely heartbreaking! It’s actually probably the most stressful thing to go thru, but here you are reaching out to others. You’re brave and that’s the things with this sort of deep sadness, although we get left wounded we have to pick ourselves up and carry on, even though it’s hard too.
I hope you find some peace soon and happiness wherever you can find it