This sounds just like my situation. I posted on here a couple of month ago about my husbands cocaine problem I didn’t post again because I thought things were going to get better. They haven’t. In 6 months he’s managed to go 2 weekends with out being on coke. Every weekend it’s the same thing this is the last time he always says I’m going to sort my self out we even have talks on the phone when he’s at work and he promises me all this stuff and makes plans for the future but then the weekend comes around and he on it. We have 2 young children and it’s got to the point now where I have realised he does not want to spend anytime with me or the children. In the week he works nights theN plays golf then At the weekend when he finish Friday night he makes plans for himself to play golf then come home and get on coke he sits upstairs high playing PlayStation games walking round the house just to make appearance to the kids then sleeps all day Sunday back at work Monday then same old cycle begins the anger depression moodiness frustration it’s so sad to see what it’s done to my husband I’ve only just admitted to myself that I have lost him along time ago to drugs and alcohol he doesn’t listen to anything I say either and if I try to talk to him it turns into an argument and I also feel like I’m going mad because that’s how he makes me feel he turns it into me like it’s me who makes him do it and he is paranoid as well constant accusing me of cheating on him. It’s insane I have 2 young children Who I’m looking after all the time I’m doing all the parenting and he thinks I’m out cheating as well. It makes me so sad and angry as well I try not to let it get to me now because I do have to be strong for the children. I am also in the same boat that he is making all the money at the moment I’m on maternity I will go back in December. He also reminds me he makes all the money and makes me feel like I do. Nothing. He works 6 days and 5 days but then spends the over time money he’s making on coke. He is Financially running us. I do love him and so do the kids but now it’s got to the point that I’m not talking to him I can’t bare to be around him I go out with the kids to get away from him and I’m relieved when he goes to work and I don’t have to deal with the emotional abuse and just his depression moods. I’ve been in denial that I think he will change it’s like I’m been waiting and waiting that he’s going to but I think the cocaine has got him now and that’s more important to him than his family right now.
He just says that he’s just gonna do what he wants to do yet That’s what he’s been doing this whole time it’s all about him he is so selfish.
Sorry for the long post I can just relate so much to what you said and it helps me reading other post here and getting advice.
The best we can do is look after ourselves and make sure our Health and mental health is good because this drug ruins every ones lives involved.