Yes Jenny, the alcohol has made my son someone I hardly know. I think he’s starting to lose his mental faculties and it terrifies me. Last summer he was so bad, I did what the “experts” tell you to do and called a mental help line for him. They told me all they do is call him and try to engage him and see if he would be willing to talk. They called me back and said that they left a message and that because confidentiality laws, they couldn’t tell me if he called back. He never said anything to me, so I assume he didn’t call back. It escalated to the point I called for a wellness check with the police and they went and knocked on his apartment door and they called me and said he didn’t answer. Why would he? He probably looked through his peephole and saw the police. They said that was all they could do. I felt so crushed and helpless.
My son is also not talking to me right now. I’ve heard from him once in over a couple of months. He says he needs to be alone to “think” about things and that he would not respond to any contact for a month. I feel stuck. Part of me wants to reach out, part of me is scared to. If he doesn’t respond, then I get that sick feeling that something is wrong. Sometimes he’s kind of normal. Or he’s mean and that hurts so much. It’s such a no win situation. Which is worse- hearing from him and he’s not good or not hearing from him and then I suffer too?