Hey Tess
I’m 12 years sober in November.
I’m not sure what a healthy relationship with alcohol means tbh, you can either drink safely and stop when you have had enough, or want to, or you can’t. Maybe I’m too black and white.
I can’t diagnose anyone as alcoholic, but a quick look through the basic text of AA and you will probably see alot of similarities with what you have written. Aboit your partner above there….
The first thing to do is decide whether you want to carry on like this. That is going to mean spelling it out to him and being firm. Is he serious about wanting to change or just saying it when he feels rubbish or in the dog house?
How often is he drinking?