Good afternoon,
Reading your story made me really sad, sad that someone can treat another human being so very very badly. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure this pain for so long and I hope you can begin to heal now. Someone once told me “it’s not the wound that hurts the most, but the healing”. But heal we must.
I totally can relate to PTSD because I too suffer from this now. I agree with the other comment, addiction just absolutely destroys everything and everyone in it’s path! My now ex treated me so badly that when I think back I literally feel the pain in my chest! It’s such physical pain and so very traumatic. I’m eight months down the line and I’m still struggling to come to terms with how I was treated. I too was blamed which made things worse as I started to believe I was to blame. I had to heal from this also and still am working on it. The thing is there is so many layers to trauma, the treatment and all the rest of it that sometimes I don’t know where to start. I think that’s probably why I have PTSD because it all comes out in night terrors and panic.
You hold onto your self because you are worth it and you are enough and now you are safe. You keep healing and pushing forward and talking. Whatever gets you back to you. X