Hi sissi
I’m so sorry to read that things have not improved for you. You truly don’t deserve all this anguish.
I notice the Icarus trust posts here for help and support for you.
Also, if you read through some of the threads people post.
Some are people with similar stories to yours, some work with their partner and give them ultimations, some have had enough and will leave for their own sanity and for their children.
I guess its whatever is best for you.
It would be great if he could get involved with a support group like AA or NA . Unfortunately they can only offer online help just now. But they do the 12 steps – Google it. They get a sponsor who they can relate to and will support them through their recovery.
My son managed 3 months on it at best, at least he was around people who had been been or are, in the same situation.
Please look after yourself first, and seek further support here. I know it’s difficult cos you love them and don’t want to see them come to harm. The only way for him is complete abstinence and the meetings will help him with this.
Take care and I will keep you in my prayers. Lx