Hiya hope your OK, I’m in the same situation as your bf, an addiction to cocaine, the minute you said he wanted to kill himself I new it was coke. When your on a come down from coke it sends you depressed and suicidal. This is one of the reasons I’m doing my best to quit it. I hate the stuff. It sends you suicidal because of the dopamine in your brain has been used up so quick because of the coke. You come crashing down when it’s finished and can take a few days to balance back to normal. I’m not gonna lie to you but a few people I know have killed them self while on coke. It just sends your head so messed up when it’s wearing off.
Firstly this addiction is not your fault one bit, so get that out of your head. We make our own decisions in life and should take responsibility for our own actions.
You say if you hadn’t realised sooner he wouldn’t of spent so much on it. You know what, he probably would of. He will never stop till he wants to admit he has a problem and he starts getting help. All you can do if you choose to is support him.
If he wants to quit this is what he needs to do, and what I do. It at least controls the addiction and helps to quit. 1st he needs delete all dealers nums and friends who use, even family who use. Come off all social media, u can message dealers on there. Change his num.
Try go to local drug place, he needs to change his life a round and implement new activities to keep him busy, gym, reading, walking, anything he likes really.
He needs to avoid triggers, say places he’s used, places he’s met dealers, pubs,. No alcohol at all as this makes you want coke so bad.
I listen to cocaine recovery stories on you tube as well they help me a lot. Meditation as well.
I tend to use Fridays, or once every few week on a Friday. So I give my gf my phone Fridays at 2pm and car keys and she locks it away in a safe. But sometimes I still manage get it. It’s about cutting ways out of how to get it.
I’d sit him down talk to him and see if he wants help and support him. That’s entirely up 2 u that though. Hope that helps. Message me if u need any advice