U can be addicted even if its monthly on payday, because you always fall back to it.
I had that same mentality, and didn’t believe addiction is a disease, but it is. Behind a lot of people’s addictions there is a story, abuse, bad upbringing, no parents, and they use to block it out I guess and it just gets worse and worse.
I think like that as well everything happens for a reason, this site has helped me out a lot, last year and beginning of this year I went months without coke, and it was down to support from certain people on here, it really does help just a bit of encouragement. But you have to put the effort in as well.