Then you need away from this situation as quickly as you can. A user in the midst of using has NO insight whatsoever into their own behaviour and they can make you think you’re losing your mind. You cannot argue, reason or rationalise with a user, so don’t waste your breath trying. Just get yourself away from this toxic situation, so you can reclain your sanity and protect your children.
Once he hits rock bottom, he might get a wake up call.. but don’t wait for this to happen because it might never. You have to walk away now until he can accept his addiction and agree to get help.
I do hope you can find youself in a better place. It took my 2 years and I still my partner in my life, but he is at least about to go to a rehab centre. I don’t kid myself it will work or that he won’t use – but whilst he is clean he is the man I fell in love with and I am supporting him. But the minute he uses or tries to disrespect me, I disengage and let him get on with it.