Hi Kelly,
So sorry to read your post.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We support people, like yourself, dealing with the addiction of a family member. if you contact us I can put you in touch with one of our trained and experienced people who you could talk with. Maybe talking with one of them would help you to find a way ahead.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best.