Thank you for sharing your story and hopefully you will feel not so alone through talking with people on this forum.
It must be very hard for you to cope with your children’s feelings while protecting them from the situation with their dad. If you would like some further help for yourself please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for people that are affected by a partner’s addiction. We know hard this can be and have specially trained people who you could talk with if you get in touch. Maybe talking with one of them will help you to find a way forward.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best.