Hi
Thanks for replying and the show of support. To be honest I didn’t expect anyone to answer.
This is the first time I have been on a forum as well.
I too feel very lonely and frustrated.I also feel guilty about the fact that the children are having to live with it as well because I have no way of changing him and have no where to go if I left him.
For the past 2 weeks my husband has spent all his wages (around £500) on coke and gambling. He has given me his cash card on the Thursday night promising not to do it and then he doesn’t come home from work on the Friday and by 10pm he is demanding his money and his cash card.He has also accused me of stealing his money this week because I used some to pay the rent, we have an agreement we pay it every friday, so this week was no different. In the end I had to borrow the money off my parents because he was being so vile and constantly demanding it back. He has never been violent towards me, which is a good thing.
I have tried turning off my phone but he will phone my eldest son or the neighbours to get hold of me, or just come home and start demanding it. This wakes up my youngest and it really upsets him.
He then comes home by sunday evening full of remorse or blaming and angry with me expecting me to just say ok and have shopping in when he has spent all the money we have for the week.
I have really hit rock bottom and just can’t cope anymore.
Today I spoke to a divorce lawyer and they have said I have good grounds for a divorce but I have no money for a divorce and it means I will have to tell people what is going on and I’m scared social services will get involved, think I am a bad mum (which I agree with, a good mum wouldn’t let this happen) and take my kids away from me. My kids are my world and the thought if losing them breaks my heart.
I just don’t know what to do anymore, I just want a ‘normal husband and life’s.