Hi Holly and Frankie,
I was sad reading your stories, I’ve been in a similar position for years on and off, and I feel your pain, anxiety and worry. Have a read of my past posts.
NEVER ever blame yourselves for being in this situation. It is not your fault at all, coke is a sly drug, it starts off as a bit of fun, an extra at a party. Then before you know if you are using it every day just to feel normal. It doesnt even make an addict feel good anymore.
I too have a child with my husband, have been married 12 years, and he is, at present 9 months clean. He cannot drink alcohol now either as it is a huge trigger for him.
I lost so much weight when he was in the middle of an addictive binge. Every weekend spent feeling anxious, and then wasted Sundays trying to keep out of his way. Coming home from work late and high, expecting a lift to work the next day because his car was there. Treading on eggshells all the time, second guessing the mood.
This past 9 months have been like a dream for me, some normality amid the covid chaos. I’d take this time over an addictive phase any day!
My husband has previously stopped for 12-18 months, so its not out of the ordinary for this to happen, i’m not counting my chickens…. although I keep telling myself that one time when he stops it will be forever. I hope this is it.
Sending love and always here x