Hi, I’m so sorry to read this. I too live with an alcoholic and he is always threatening to leave me. It’s not a great place to be and even more so in your difficult circumstances.
Do you know anyone who knows him who can contact him to say you need to meet up with him and talk things through? He sounding like he’s feeling pretty down on himself – does his alcohol habits cause him to be depressed?
Maybe time apart has given him time to reflect? and it could be true that you don’t deserve the way he is behaving. In my experience of living with an alcoholic though, mine can be quick to say I don’t deserve his poor treatment, but the easier way to fix that for him is to say he’ll leave, than to tackle the alcohol problem.
With the right support that isn’t necessary the only outcome and my partner is now determined that he’ll put things right and is attempting to stop drinking altogether (for the umpteenth time – but is can be a long journey)
I’m not sure any of this is helping you, but at least you know there is someone who has been through similar – there will be many others too. Please don’t feel alone xx
Nic x