Girl next door,
First of all I am so very sorry you feel the way you do, and feel like there is no way out apart from ending your life.
I would also like to say well done for leaving that post, it wouldn’t have been easy for you.
Some advise from past experience with me. My ex was 28 when he committed suicide leaving behind 3 young children, the devastation it left behind lasts forever.
My brother also in the past 6 months has had 4 failed attempts. He also has 2 children. My brothers last attempt left him in a coma with doctors telling the family he would not make it through the night. Luckily he did, it made him realise he couldn’t kill himself, that he was loved and needed.
You girlnextdoor are LOVED and NEEDED by your babies, it may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel right now but there is, I promise life will get better!
Make yourself a cuppa tea, run a hot bath and put meditation music on while whispering to yourself ‘calm, I’m loved’. Go and look at your babies sleeping, thinking of them laughing. They NEED you!
Please be strong, seek help and look after yourself! It will get easier x