Hi Kayare,
Welcome to the Forum.
I’m sure that just putting your thoughts down that you will feel better.
Your husband sounds very ill, and I can appreciate your worry and concern.
There are lots of people on the Forum in the same situation, read through some of the other stories, I found them to be really helpful.
Never feel that you are to blame, they choose their own paths I’m afraid.
The Icarus Trust is a place that you could get in touch with too.
Stay in touch on here, it’s a great place to get advice and help from.
Take care of you and your children.
Dx