No it isn’t your fault at all, don’t blame yourself. It’s his fault and his fault alone. It’s funny how we get accused of affairs and things when it’s them doing wrong. I feel miserable and stuff most of the time too and that is due to them and their habit grinding us down. They are so self-centered they can’t see the damage their doing because they feel their drugs make them happy.
I wish I could say something positive to pick you up but unfortunately I don’t.
Take care of yourself x